Archive | April 2015

Pain-your deepest, darkest, Soul Finder, Truth Seeker, Soul Seeker, Truth Finder, Soul Destroyer, Soul Releaser.

Pain- your deepest, darkest, soul finder, soul seeker, truth finder, soul destroyer, soul releaser.

I often wonder what it would be like to never be sick.  I often wonder what it would be like to never feel pain.  Pain is something that I can deal with up to a point.  I think life without pain would be ok for some things and not ok for other things.  Pain  can sometimes not be understood or even explained.  It can not be in a box with pretty flowers and beautiful bright colors because it’s not really that great of a thing to go through.  There are so many different types of pain, that in a sense I feel it’s like a human race.  Humans are all sorts of beautiful shapes and colors.  Humans are all sorts of wonderful emotions…some good, some bad, some hard, and some indifferent and unexplainable.  I am right now in pain, but not emotional pain even though there are times when I feel like I should be in emotional pain.  I am in physical pain, and it is not something that I can hide and run from; even though I wish I could because that would be the greatest escape of all.  Right now I’m listening to music and being in pain is just calming to a sense, where I can put my focus on something other than why I’m in pain.  How can pain or the feeling of hurt make you feel calm and at peace?  I ask myself now as I’m listening to very calming music. However I think that distractions are another way of escaping what we are really feeling.  Don’t you wish that there could be a way to disappear and make our pain just fade away; I mean not disappear forever or even all the time, just those times when we feel like the pain will never go away?  As I’m sitting here writing this blog post, I’m wondering to myself, can pain change people?  Can  pain make people think about the unexplainable?  Can pain make people feel uncertain about who they are?  Coming from the most over thinkable person that there is in life, I can’t even answer these questions…it could be because I’m over-thinking this “pain” word or it could be because I’m really focused on this blog post, or it could be because I’m just rambleing on about something that is such a strong and meaningful word.  You know feeling lightheaded and uneasy about sharing my thoughts is the weirdest feeling ever.   I think it’s pain that demands to be felt, dealt with, thought about, and then…

released.



PAIN-IT DEMANDS TO BE FELT 
PAIN=VICTORY AND SELF DISCOVERY

Questions to answer and think about:

Have any of you ever felt uneasy about something that you have shared to someone?  Have any of you ever felt weird about really taking a relationship to the next level and talking about your deepest darkest secrets, including all the pain that you have had or already have deep down inside your soul?  Please share, I would love to hear how you guys interpret this thing we call “pain.”

Thanks for reading

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A road with no end…

A ROAD WITH NO END….CAN MEAN MANY POSSIBILITIES.
 Picture taken by me

WHAT DOES THIS PICTURE MEAN TO YOU?   A ROAD WITH NO END…….

Question to answer:

 how do you interpret this picture?

let me know in a comment and subscribe 🙂

Bullying…Fight it! Beat it! Believe you are BEAUTIFUL!!

Fight it! Beat it! Believe you are BEAUTIFUL!!

Have you ever been bullied?  How did it make you feel?  Have you ever bullied someone else?  These are valid questions and sometimes it can be hard to admit that we did something wrong.  I’m not really sure of the exact statistics for bullying however I do know that it’s not right.  No one has the right to be bullied.  Cyber bullying has become a thing these days with the social medias like youtube, facebook, twitter and more.  And you wouldn’t think that bullying over the internet would hurt people’s feelings but it really does.  So how do you overcome it?  In my opinion it’s basically 3 things.  One:  taking those negative comments that people have said about you, and making them positive.  If someone called you ugly…look yourself in the mirror and say “no I’m not ugly, I’m beautiful.”  Say that every day of every minute if you have you to, but believe it because you are beautiful.  So if someone called you “stupid,” say “No I’m smart.” Turn that negative into a positive because positives outweigh the negatives.  Two…Be confident in who you are...if you are confident with who you are and know that it’s ok to be you, then eventually people will see that, and if they don’t then that is their loss.  And last but not least, be who you are and want to be.  If you be who you are and who you want to be, then no one can take that away from you.  No one can take something that they have no control over.  If you let them have control, they will run all over you, but if you take control and don’t give them that upper hand, then you will be the person you want to be. And last tell an adult so they can help before it gets more serious than it is. Bullying is wrong and it can be harmful if gone too far, not just to the bully but also to you.

Any topic you would like me to discuss leave a comment or email me at lilvina25@gmail.com. 
Recap:
1)Turn that negative into a positive
2)Be confident in who you are 
3)Be who you are and want to be
4) Tell an adult that you trust
And most of all: BELIEVE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL/ HANDSOME

Questions to answer:
Have you ever been bullied?  How did it make you feel?  Have you ever bullied someone else?  Share your story in the comments 🙂

Don’t Judge yourself through someone else’s eyes

   
             




  So today we are going to be talking about confidence, self esteem and not judging yourself. Now having confidence, self esteem and judging yourself has to do with Psychology because it has to do with who you are and where you came from that defines you. This blog post will talk to  young girls of all ages and young women for the most part.  I have younger sisters, and I don’t want them going through middle school, high school, college, life, thinking that they are ugly or thinking that they will never get a guy to like them, or thinking that the only way to get a guy to like them is by dressing inappropriately and just lowering their standards to meet the needs of others. I want them to have confidence in who they are inside and out, and to have good self esteem  and to understand that who they are is unique. Now I know we all have judged someone and I’m sure we have all been judged sometime in our lives, but that shouldn’t affect how we live our lives.  Now a personal story, awhile back, I was going through something and I was really down, and I cried all the time, and I was just in a bad place; and when I would ask my husband why he was so upset with me, he said it was because he couldn’t understand why I let things get to me.  He wanted to know where the confident woman was that he married.  The woman that didn’t care what other’s thought about how she dressed, or who she married and more.  And he was right, where had that woman gone? The answer to that question was, I didn’t go anywhere, I just lost who I was because I let what other people said about me, get to me and make me sad.
  Having confidence in yourself will go a long way in your life. Now some people may disagree with me but a lot of times, the one thing a man looks for in a woman is if she is confident in who she is. Men have this thing of being confident and not caring what others think, but for some reason women just don’t have that.  We seem to care more about what others think about how we dress and how we look than anything else and what’s the point of caring about those things?  If a guy really loves you, he will love you for you, not for what you are wearing or how your hair looks or your body image. Don’t judge yourself through someone else’s  eyes. Embrace your real beauty, have confidence in yourself and carry yourself with good self esteem, because the person you are is unique and no one looks like you.  If you have a scar or a birth mark, be proud of it, don’t hide it…it belongs to you, it uniquely defines you. God made us different for a reason.  If he wanted us all to look the same, then he would have created us to look the same. Embrace your ethnicity, the color of your skin, the way you were raised, etc.  Don’t change yourself just to make others happy because you will never be happy that way.  If you do that, then every time someone says something, you will want to change yourself because you think they are right, and they are not right. Some good ways to improve your confidence.
   A good way to improve your confidence, self esteem, and help you with just dismissing what others say to you is to look in the mirror and say I am beautiful inside and out.  If you say that to yourself every day and believe every word that you are saying, that will help you so much.  Another way is to go natural.  I’m African American and I have very knotty hair and it can be really hard to do, but I love it anyway.  I’ve been going natural because I personally don’t like wearing fake hair. I know I am beautiful the way I am, and my hair is only a tiny part of who I am. So go natural; don’t wear make up everyday.  Most days I don’t wear make up, and my husband seems to like it when I don’t because he says that I am beautiful without it. I love my natural beauty and you should too.  Now that doesn’t mean you can’t ever wear make up, just try to take one day out of a week and don’t wear any.  Get used to liking who you are on the outside, because it’s who you are. If you like yourself on the outside, then it will show on the inside by your confidence and your inner beauty and personality. Some other ways are writing little notes to yourself to help you build up your self esteem and your confidence like I have a beautiful body, and maybe wear a dress that day that makes you feel good about your body type.  What ever you do, don’t lower yourself down to what other’s think of you because you are you, you are unique and beautiful and no one can be like you. Remember:  Don’t judge yourself through someone else’s  eyes, and Embrace your real beauty, have confidence in yourself and carry yourself with good self esteem, because the person you are is unique and no one looks like you. 


Question to Answer:

What are things you can do to not judge yourself or others?  Tell me in the comments below.

Forgiving Yourself is Learning to Move On

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.


Forgiveness is another one of those hard lessons that we have to learn from an early age.  It’s not something that comes naturally to people even though it should.  It’s not something that we can easily do either even though we should.  When we forgive, we are taking the power back from whoever did us wrong, and we are controlling the situation and admitting what we did was wrong, but also that we want to move on from the situation.  This quote up top basically makes a good point.  A lot of the time it’s more painful to forgive someone and move on, then the actual wound that we suffered from.  Forgiveness is putting your pride aside and saying..“I am going to forgive you because I want to move on.”  It’s easier said than done obviously, but practicing it makes perfect.  And one of the ways to make this easier… is to forgive yourself first.  Forgive yourself from whatever you did and say “I’m done letting this control my life and bring me down…I’m letting go, forgiving myself and moving on.” Even if they do not forgive you, you can still be free from the guilt and shame because you took the first step and forgave yourself.  So learn from your mistakes and learn to forgive yourself no matter if that person will not or doesn’t want to forgive you…why hold on to the guilt, if you know you can be free inside and be happy?


Question to answer:
What is one thing today that you can forgive yourself on and move on?  Comment below.

References:

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mariannewi404141.html#W20B1KYlVgMVkr3b.99

Images from google

Ways to Stress Less and Live More

“We all have stressful times in our life( hence the picture LOL)  and sometimes we don’t know how to deal with it, however I’m going to give you 10 ways to deal with your stress.”  These are way; you don’t have to try them, but if you do or have, comment and let me know if they have worked.  If you have other ways to deal with stress, comment and share. 🙂

10 ways to deal with stress

1) Dance it out
       -Put on some great danceable music and dance your heart out.  Don’t worry about who is looking at you, just enjoy the music and forget about the stress in your life.
2) Sing it out
        -Again, put on some karaoke or your favorite songs and just sing sing sing it out. 🙂
3) Talk it out
        -Call up a friend, a family member, somebody and talk to them about what is stressing you out.  Maybe they can give you some ideas on how to go about dealing with it or atleast if nothing else a hug and understanding on what you are feeling. There’s nothing more than just talking things out when you feel you need to talk to someone.
4) Focus on what you can control
       – If it is something you can’t control, why would you stress about it?  If it’s something that no matter what idea you have, it won’t fix it, then focus on what you can control.  Maybe you can control how your family goes on living from that point…maybe you can control where your life is going next…whatever it is, Focus on what you can control, and leave the rest to God(Cliche, but it’s true)
5) Focus on the positives
        -Is there something that you can be grateful for?  Are their people in your life who have been there all along that you can say “hey that is a positive thing, I’m grateful for them?”  If you answered yes, then you are on your way.  Focus on the positives and don’t worry about the negatives.
6) Drink Tea
       -Tea is amazing for when you are stressed.  When I’m stressed, I drink green tea, actually I drink green tea in the morning and before I go to bed and when I’m stressed ok…lets face it and be real, I drink tea all the time Lol.  Green tea contains theanine, which is an amino acid that promotes relaxation.  It’s a caffeine antagonist…it contains the stimulating effects of caffeine. http://www.womenshealthmag.com.
7)  Exercise it out
         -Exercise is one of the things that a lot of people choose to do when they are feeling overwhelmed. That is because exercise stimulates the brain by bumping up the neurotransmitters that are called endorphin’s.   Endorphin’s are feel good vibes, so to speak, that tell your mind that exercise is a good thing.  It’s usually why runners love to run…the idea is that when you exercise no one can get near you to put bad news into your head…perfect right?…Therefore you can’t think about the stress in your life, all can think about is what you are doing in that moment.  How
awesome is that?
8)  Breathe or Meditate
         -Ok so basically it’s self explanatory, but just breathe.  Go into a room, or on a chair or something, and take a few minutes and breathe.  Breathing and meditating helps soothe your mind and make it easier for you to understand what is stressing you out.
9)  Get a good nights sleep 
         -Basically just sleep.  Sleep until your heart is content because sleeping at times can sooth the mind, but besides that…it’s just AMAZING 🙂  Tell your boyfriend, husband or whoever that you are going to just sleep.  Turn off your phone, your electronics and forget about the world, and sleep.
10) Write it out, then read it
       -Get a notebook, a journal and piece of paper and write out why you are stressed.  Reading or looking into the source of your stress can really help in knowing how to overcome it and deal with it.  Think about the way you are currently coping with stress, and if it is not working, try something different.  For me, journaling really helps, or reading a book really helps.  A lot of times if I write it out, I can go back and read it, and really figure out what is stressing me out, how I have dealt with stressers in the past, and if they have not worked, I can try something different.

 Stress Less and Live More


Question to answer:

What are ways that you deal with stress?  Comment below

References

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Ways+to+Relieve+Stress&FORM=RESTAB


http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/de-stress-instantly

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm