Hey everyone and welcome back to “It is Well, With my Soul” blog. So as some of you know, this year is all about making myself better…and if you want to go on this journey with me, then feel free and tell me how it’s going. Tonight we will be talking about Self Love. Finding yourself love, or myself love is like dating someone new. When you put all your trust and love in someone, and then your break up or something happens, you have to find that trust and self-love again, and kind of make yourself happy again. You have to kind of re-date yourself and really make yourself fall in love again, with yourself. I went through a lot in the past few years, losing an amazing friend, and I went through not knowing who I was, and just being depressed and when January 2016 rolled around, I told myself that I wanted to work on “me.” I wanted to get my self-love back and become the happy bubbly amazing person that I once was. So to help myself and others along, I came up with 6 tips to help get your self-love back. So here we go:
1) Learning to love yourself-Learning to love yourself is a journey. The relationship you have with yourself, is the most important relationship, because if you can not love yourself, then you can not love others, and you can not expect others to love you. I never want people to forget that because it’s not a selfish aspect. Some women find this as selfish, but it is not selfish at all. You should be your biggest hero and your biggest supporter, and this year I’m slowly discovering this and I’m so happy that I am because it is making me a happier person to not only be around but to love me as well.
2) Spend time alone with yourself-What I mean by this is to give yourself 10-15 minutes to just be with yourself. This is only for you, and it can really start your mind and your heart in the right place. So do this in the morning when you wake up. Take a few minutes to just breathe, read a devotional or a book, write, do some yoga or an exercise you enjoy, but whatever it is, give yourself those few minutes to yourself. Recently I’ve been doing yoga in the morning because it wakes me up, makes me feel energized, and after yoga, I end the yoga session with some meditation. This is the time before my son wakes up, and it’s only for me so that I can feel good about the day ahead.
3) Give yourself a date night-When you go on a date, you get all ready and the whole nine yards. You make sure that you look presentable and comfortable for your date and you put in the effort. Well just like those dates, do the same for your date night. Put in the effort, make some tea, draw a bath or a shower, do your favorite face or hair masks, paint your nails, stick in a movie, and just have a date night that is for you. This is ok, even if you are a mom; don’t feel like it’s not because you totally deserve it. I actually do this once a month; when my husband goes out of town for the day, I’m with my son, and when he goes to bed, I decide to have a personal date night with myself by myself because it really helps me feel like I’m taking care of myself. I put a lot of effort into this, as I do with the date nights with my husband. My favorite thing to do is, is to give myself a mani or pedi, put in a good movie, make me some tea and a snack, and just enjoy my night until my husband gets home. It is really relaxing even with candles and it really does make me feel great. So try it.
4) Start a journal-Start journaling whether that be on your phone or computer or a notepad. I journal every night, just about random things…I recently started doing “evening pages,” which I have a description of that on my blog. Writing can clear your mind, get out all of that distraction that is in your head, and it’s all sorts of beneficial for you. With a journal, you can be open and honest with your feelings and no one has to read it but you, unless you want them to. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to write things down than it is to tell people… so start a journal.
5) Stop comparing yourself to others
Basically, don’t compare yourself with others. You are perfect the way you are. As the bible says in Psalm 139:14 ” you are fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God has created you the way that you are, and there is no reason to ever compare yourself to others because you will never be happy that way. Just be happy with who you are inside and out, and get rid of the negativeness around you.
6) Forgive-Always forgive yourself and others. I’ve recently been doing this and it’s really helped me make this year and myself better. When you forgive, it opens your heart to acceptance and appreciation, making you realize that people are not perfect, not even you, and if you really want to see change in yourself, then forgive yourself, and then forgive others.